God’s Design For The Family And The Roles Of Children And Parents

God has commanded children to obey and honor their parents in the Lord, and for parents to train up their children in the ways of the Lord. Although this God-designed relationship is sometimes hard to navigate in our current culture, God’s Word guides us in how to accomplish the benefits that the Christian family can bring to each other and to the world.

Jason’s Main Points

  • The next generation has immense value.
  • A child’s role in the Christian family is to obey and honor their parents in the Lord.
  • A parent’s role is to bring up their children in the way of the Lord.
  • The parent-child relationship is important.

Key Takeaways

  • As Christians, we do have an instruction manual for what matters most in parenting. We have God’s Word to help lead us and guide us in the ways we are to train up our children.

  • Roman culture devalued children and viewed them as property, oftentimes leading to their neglect and abuse. God’s Word tells us children are a gift from the Lord, an inheritance, weapons in the hand of a warrior, and a blessing (Ps. 127:3-5).

  • Children, the Lord values you—no matter what society, your parents, or peers tell you.

  • If we don’t show and share God’s value to our children, they will look elsewhere to find value.

  • According to Jason, “To obey your parents is to listen attentively and positively respond. To honor your parents is to have a disposition of respect towards your parents.”

  • Christ is the ultimate example of honor and obedience as He faithfully surrendered to the Father’s will in life and death.

  • We, as parents, are the main disciple makers of our children and must not farm out this high calling to the church, a school, or anyone else.

  • As parents, we must:

    1) Teach our kids to value God and the things of God.
    2) Not provoke our children to anger.
    3) Be cautious to draw hard lines where God doesn’t.
    4) Nourish our children.
    5) Remember that discipline and instruction go hand in hand.
    6) Know your role as a parent.
    7) Remember grace has been extended to you and you can extend it to your kids.

  • We are not to parent by rule and control, but responsibly care for them.

  • We must teach our children what is true through God’s Word, model a sincere love for God, value Christ as supreme, and warn them against the idols and evils of this world.

  • Jason’s examples of provoking our children to anger include overprotecting them, showing favoritism, setting unrealistic expectations, or rousing them to wrath through how we discipline.

  • Jason defined discipline as “intentional correction and a reminder of God’s character.”

  • Discipline is about developing and discipling, not just behavior modification. Discipline is about shepherding our children’s hearts. The condition of our heart when we discipline is more important than the punishment.

  • The way people view their earthly father will oftentimes affect how they view their heavenly Father. As imperfect parents, we are to ask for forgiveness when we wrong our children and remind them of our perfect Father who sent His perfect Son to save us.

  • Parents, you can’t save your children, only Christ can. You are called to be their shepherds, not their saviors.

Discussion Questions/Application

Personal application:

  • In what ways are you tempted to view children as a burden more than a blessing?How can you more faithfully train up the next generation?

  • How has your view of your earthly father affected your view of your heavenly Father? Are there any specific wrongs you still need to extend forgiveness to your parents for in your life? Are there any wrongs you need to ask for forgiveness for from your children?

Discuss with your community group:

  • How did today’s message convict you when it comes to the value of children and God’s blueprint for parenting?

  • Parents: In what ways were you/are you prone to provoke your children to anger and make obedience more difficult?

Passages Referenced for Further Study
Ephesians 6:1-4; Ephesians 5:21; Psalm 127:3-5; Matthew 19:14; Exodus 20:12; Deuteronomy 5:16; John 6:38, Matthew 26:39; Philippians 2:8; Proverbs 22:6; Deuteronomy 6:4-9; Ephesians 5:29; Luke 2:52; Hebrews 12:6; Psalm 127:1; 1 Corinthians 11:1.