God got my attention Christmas of 2016 after a 7-year relationship with my son’s mother came to an end. I was building a business, traveling the world and saw the building blocks falling in place to the worldly empire I’d dreamed of since I was young. Now, without the family I so desired, I’d question “what’s the point?”. When I was home, I wanted to be on the road working and making money. When I was on the road, I wanted to be at home with my son and his mother. I knew no contentment. I’d developed fear-based anxiety in 5th grade and the coping mechanisms developed in high school ranged from abusing alcohol to recreational drug use to inappropriate relationships and pornography. I longed to be better but couldn’t.

Although I professed Christ around age 8, I had no idea what it meant to have a relationship with Christ. For 20+ years, I did not read the Bible, attend church or trust anyone with the ongoing struggles in my life. I had no clue what it meant to be a disciple of Christ. All I wanted was to be free of anxiety and thought I’d found that cure and that God would be happy with the fact that I was happy. Truth be told, I wasn’t happy! And, truth be known, I came to learn my role was to know God and make Him known, not find the path to worldly happiness! I had been living temporary pleasure to temporary pleasure. I was miserable, full of guilt and shame and wanted freedom. God gave me that freedom. In His kindness, following the separation, the Lord rid me of my lifelong battle with anxiety. He removed the desire to medicate with drugs or alcohol because of the complete freedom He allowed me. And, by His grace, I’ve been free of inappropriate relationships and pornography since the day my co-habitating relationship ended in 2016. God’s presence was what I desired. And, His Spirit overtook me and loved me like I’d never known love before. I now had peace. I was finally content in Christ!

After spending two and a half years on staff at Watermark Dallas, I now get to serve alongside others as the Frontlines Coordinator here at Watermark Fort Worth. God’s grace extended to me has been overwhelming. I love mutually encouraging others in Christ and reading God’s word. I moved to Fort Worth to be closer to my elementary-aged son who also loves gathering with God’s people at Watermark. As an aspiring police officer, you’ll often see him wearing a SWAT vest alongside me. It is a gift to gather with you all!